(Credit to Jane Hamsher of FireDogLake for the title. This post is an edited form of a comment I originally left at her place.)
Lieberspheric Cosmology: The Universe as Seen Through a Veil of Utter Contempt for Joe Lieberman.
13.8 billion years ago, Joe Lieberman exploded from a point the size of a proton at many times the speed of light, an process known as “cosmic Joflation”. At this point, the natural laws of the Joniverse stabilized, light assumed its characteristic velocity, and the spirit of Joe interacted with the Higgs field to produce matter and energy. As Joe condensed into form, the shameless treachery levels and incredible density produced a warping effect on space-time-henceforth known as black JoHoles-that would suck in any positive aspect of anything and destroy it with such force that not even the light of good ideas an escape. These JoHoles sometimes form the core of entire galaxies of stupidity. The incredible energy levels generated by the collision of good sense and honor particles with the body of the Joniverse continue to fuel and accelerate the cosmic Jospansion-and Lieberspheric cosmologists predict, using new data from the W-JOE satellite, that the Joniverse will expand into infinity, as there is not enough attraction to honor and truth in the whole freakin’ Joe Lieberman Universe to cause Joe to collapse back down into a Democrat.